| Mollie, my 11 year old ! |
We have a weekend routine of discussing her outfit ideas which often ends in a battle of wills that neither of us will back down from but i found this little ex script on line, that's helped me understand her view better.
Picky Dresser
Vicki says her 7-year-old daughter, Raelee, is very selective about what clothes she wears and the way she looks. She changes her clothes repeatedly and throws a temper tantrum every morning if her outfits don't perfectly match and her shoes aren't just right. Is this a sign of something more serious? "I just want her to be happy. I don't want her to worry about the way she looks at 7," the mom says.
Dr. Phil tells Vicki, "I think this is a little girl who, on the upside, is taking pride in how she looks. She pays attention to it. It matters to her if she has a spot on her shirt." Dr. Phil tells Vicki to consider letting Raelee have an impact on what clothing is bought for her and maybe having fewer clothing choices would help.
Dr. Sears says, "She has some anxiety about how she dresses, and I think you're treating that with more anxiety. You're yelling at her, her brothers are yelling at her, and she's kind of getting the message that I'm not good at dressing myself, so I'm going to have to really obsess about how I look.'" He recommends that Vicki ask her daughter for fashion advice and opinion when she gets dressed, to take the focus off herself.
Dr. Phil says he and Robin let their son, Jay, wear his Hawaiian Jams shorts and red high-top sneakers without laces every day when he was young, because it made him happy. "You go with it, and they'll move through it. She has a fashion sense and a desire. Embrace that. Embrace her nuances, but you don't want to fight her individuality here. You're picking the wrong battle."
Vicki says her 7-year-old daughter, Raelee, is very selective about what clothes she wears and the way she looks. She changes her clothes repeatedly and throws a temper tantrum every morning if her outfits don't perfectly match and her shoes aren't just right. Is this a sign of something more serious? "I just want her to be happy. I don't want her to worry about the way she looks at 7," the mom says.
Dr. Phil tells Vicki, "I think this is a little girl who, on the upside, is taking pride in how she looks. She pays attention to it. It matters to her if she has a spot on her shirt." Dr. Phil tells Vicki to consider letting Raelee have an impact on what clothing is bought for her and maybe having fewer clothing choices would help.
Dr. Sears says, "She has some anxiety about how she dresses, and I think you're treating that with more anxiety. You're yelling at her, her brothers are yelling at her, and she's kind of getting the message that I'm not good at dressing myself, so I'm going to have to really obsess about how I look.'" He recommends that Vicki ask her daughter for fashion advice and opinion when she gets dressed, to take the focus off herself.
Dr. Phil says he and Robin let their son, Jay, wear his Hawaiian Jams shorts and red high-top sneakers without laces every day when he was young, because it made him happy. "You go with it, and they'll move through it. She has a fashion sense and a desire. Embrace that. Embrace her nuances, but you don't want to fight her individuality here. You're picking the wrong battle."
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